THE TALE OF THE BIRTHDAY BEAR - PART 6

The creature lashed out, calling to him greedily. Shy could hear Dan's whisk, whisking dangerously and knew there was no hope of escape! He just couldn’t open his eyes for those last moments! How could his friend become so bewitched? What had he hoped to achieve. Dan was no stereotypical movie villain, he wasn't intending to explain motive and maybe even felt a tinge of guilt at his actions. So, no - he wasn't going to laugh about it - just watch calmly and be sure the job was done….

Shy felt himself dragged towards the Casserole, as it rose above, to smother, enclose and consume him... He could hear shouting too - above the creature’s frantic sploshing and the evil grrring of Dan's whisk. Something was pulling at his legs and he fell over backwards and hit his head hard against the side of the bath. Shy could hear himself whimpering - crying out for mercy and hoped he wasn't making too much of a scene. “Die bravely, Shy!”he told himself crossly, “Be a big and brave Yeti…”

A highpitched noise rung around the room. Something had hold of his feet – but was taking him away from the bathroom into the hall, then suddenly. “Hey Shy! You can open your eyes now, matey?”

Shy did so and saw things had changed. Before him was Luke and in his hand was the Time Device. “What’s up? What did you do?” Shy snapped dozily. “You didn't save me using that, did you?”

“Just on a low setting, man! It won't last half as long as the other event did and it shouldn't spread beyond the flat... I fell asleep - heard the noise and then I realised I'd been using Danbear's coat as a pillow - the Device was still in his pocket... Are you ok? I don’t expect a thank you or anything…” he added with faux indignance and Shy muttered something incoherent. Luke just smirked and ignored him. “Get your breath back… Don't speak! I’ll just close this bathroom door before Time reverts...”

“But what about Dan? Where is he?” Shy couldn’t see the bear anywhere out in the corridor.

“Ahhh... Well... I think Dan's become the victim of what he expected either you or Anthony to succumb to... Sit up and I’ll show you – but we’ll have to act quick should Time run normally again...”

“Show me what?” Shy's voice trailed off as Luke stepped aside to give him a clear line of vision - indicating the warped, disjointed scene in the bathroom – now he saw what had occurred within...

Luke had fired the Device straight at Dan and the Mutant Casserole, having grabbed Shy out of the way. The creature had then turned to Dan instead and no cleverly adapted whisk had a hope of saving him from his fate. Dan appeared to have fallen back into the bath himself - in fact he was still falling. Already the Casserole appeared to be choking and morphing into him. His face and beard were already totally soaked in gravy and a courgette appeared to have fused itself to the back of his head and was growing steadily - slowly thrashing about in the blood polluted sauce. Shy felt his eyes misting over a little (was it the steam from the bathroom?) Poor Danbear - his once good friend now looked a little like a large and furry balloon that had deflated, as he became consumed by the beast in the bath. He was now it’s ears and eyes, its legs and paws and body from which to sprout and grow from.

A host body.

“That’s quite enough of that for one day, man!” declared Luke once he noticed the Yeti going pale.

“For all the furry saints!” gasped Shy as he took it all in. “Well, he was never like that a minute ago!”

“Of course he wasn't...” Luke agreed. “But think about it - that could have been you!” and with that the cub slammed the bathroom door. “Enough! You've seen enough...” he said boldly, quite a different and braver fellow than before - changed by the sudden need for spontaneous heroics. “We've only got another couple of minutes before Time resumes! Once things go back to normal that creature is going to grow a lot bigger and faster! But right now, we need to get Anthony awake and out of here, okay?”

Shy was already pulling himself up onto his feet. “ANTHONY?! ANT! Wake up now!” this time there was no tip-toeing around and Shy went straight into Ant's room and shook him roughly from his sleep.

“Hey! What’s going on, la!?” exclaimed The Speccy Ant, allowing his Liverpudlian accent to slip out.

“Come on, fella... Grab some clothes if you can! If you can't - just come along! Dan's experiment has gone badly wrong – or maybe it went right, I dunno! Anyway he's turning into some kind of Casserole beast thing... Whatever he had going on in that bath was a parasite that's now consumed him. Luke has it trapped in a Time bubble - but it's breaking free... It'll start to grow – you MUST get out of the flat!”

“Quick guys!” Luke called. “Everything's back to normal and it's trying to break out of the bathroom!”

“Well, thank goodness I was sleeping in my Morrissey t-shirt!” muttered Ant gloomily. “At least I can keep a certain air of sophistication should I find myself left standing in the street in my pants! Imagine if I’d been wearing my Spice Girls pyjamas!” Grabbing his specs, shoes and a pile of shirts he hurried out into the hallway. “DAN! Are you alright?” he called. “Can't we just use the Time Device again?”

“Certainly NOT!” exclaimed Shy. “It's VERY dangerous... Now quickly... Let's get out of here...”

“I suppose my books will be okay for now…” he sighed, Shy wasn’t so sure, but didn’t say as much.

It was Luke’s turn to look uncertain, “Shouldn't we stay to stop this thing - to stop it growing?” Shy paused - the Cub had a good point. “We can't just run away and leave it to devour half of Brixton!!”

To be fair, Shy didn't really see why not - but realised that some responsibility did indeed rest in his paws. Even as they spoke, their list of possible actions narrowed down and a route of escape was blocked. The creature was still finding resistance as it beat hard against the bathroom door, but this was not so with the bathroom window, which it had smashed immediately Time returned to normal. A furry, brocolli-like frond had begun to grow in that direction, through the broken glass and along the outside corridor wall towards the hallway window. Within seconds it had smashed that pane too and was working it's way blindly into the corridor - expanding and blocking the front door.

It was time to think again. “Into the lounge!” Shy ushered them both in, slamming the door, before then piling Ant’s book shelves in the way. “I'm sorry – I’ll buy you new books if we survive, Dan!”

“Yes! Yes, alright... Let me help you!” he agreed, without argument. The sight of the creature rapidly growing in the corridor had obviously frightened him somewhat. “Maybe it'll think we're hiding in the bedroom - maybe it'll expand into that room first before it gets any further down here...”

“It might try both at once...” added Luke and then realised that this wasn't the most tactful thing to say, “Maybe it'll just do one at a time though... You know – to be thorough… Yeah – that’s possible…”

“What on earth is Alan going to say about all this?” sighed Shy, getting his breath back from manhandling a couple of units that were choc-a-bloc with books. “I mean, what are we going to say? Sorry, Dan won't be home for lunch today - he's turned himself into a Casserole! He’ll blow a gasket!”

All this time, whilst Shy had been wearing himself out moving shelves around, he could have been thinking - but luckily Luke had been doing that for him, "Do you have any rope at all, Anthony?”

“I don't think so... I have a sweater we could unravel or the pipe from one of those hookah things I bought when I was in India! Perhaps I could make you a ladder from long spaghetti - I never eat it cos I really rather prefer pasta tubes myself - what's the Italian... I've quite forgotten... What's that noise?”
Ant’s usual cynical cool seemed drained, but he was right - there was a thumping noise close by. It wasn't coming from the corridor - but the room next door. Dan had found the bedroom and was trying to get to them that way. It wouldn't be long before it broke out of the bathroom and went for an attack on the lounge door. “I KNOW!” Exclaimed Luke suddenly “Tea towels!!! Loads of them... Don’t you have a collection or something? Let's tie them all together and then you can winch me outta here...”

Luke was correct about the tea-towels, but Ant was furious. “Let YOU escape? What about us?”

“I’m NOT escaping!” sighed Luke as he begun to work. Around him the floorboards creaked and more and more plaster fell from the walls. “I just thought we could launch an attack on the thing! Take as much of that crappy cut quality, overpriced food that they sell in the store downstairs and bombard it! Spoil the recipe as it were! It may make matters worse - or we MIGHT find its Achilles heel!”

“Top idea, cub! Excellent!” agreed Shy. “Much better than running away! So, is that rope ready, yet?”

“Almost! I must be mad volunteering for this!” Luke sighed, then added. “Why are we all so tubby? Why isn’t one of you lighter than me - then I wouldn’t have to dangle out of this window!” he calmed down to ready himself. “I’m trying to remember a conversation I had with Dan recently about food, he likes most things – I’m trying to think if there’s anything he hates that might help us somehow!”

“So are you trying to kill him?” Ant sounded upset. “If he explodes will it mess up the paint work?”

“I think the paint work is the least of our problems!” Shy began to secure Luke to the tea towel rope and slid open the second floor window, helping Luke clamber over the sill before slowly beginning to lower him down. “Careful now… We need to get you back up on that – unless you can find some proper rope!” Luke nodded – the tea towels creaked and the knots tightened but he made it safely to the pavement, untied himself and disappeared into the shop. “He’s alright!” grinned Shy, turning back to Ant, “This creature is pretty much demolishing your flat! I don’t know whether we’ve even got the power to kill it – or whether there’s anything left of Dan to save, but whatever we do we must at least contain him – stop him escaping or growing! Don’t think I’m being callous – he’s my friend too, but if you’ve no flat at the end of this, but we’ve stopped the creature rampaging down Electric Avenue then it’ll be a job well done… I’m sorry! We can blame the damage on a gas leak if needs be, just don’t start being a drama king about it all – just try and make sure the lounge door stays shut…”

Ant said nothing all the while. He looked like he might be silently fuming. All the same he hurried over towards the lounge door, just as it started to bulge inwards behind the bookshelves that they’d blocked. “Are you going to pull me back up again, then?” called a voice from the Street – it was Luke – back already. He was carrying a couple of full looking plastic bags which Shy presumed he’d paid for, but later learnt had practically shop-lifted by offering no more than a wink. Luckily, by that point the alarming noises from the flats were becoming evident even to the shop keeper below and having a friendly cub steal a couple of bags of cheap tinned peas or whatever was the last of his worries.

“Ok! Get ready, fella!” Shy turned away from the window to call Ant over. “Come and give me a hand Luke’s back already and he’s got a couple of bags worth of stuff here – it’s going to be a heavy load!”

“Dan’s breaking through the door!” Anthony called out as he hurried over. “Let me down the rope…”
Shy was furious, “You do what you want – just you help me get Luke back up here first… CUB!? We’re pulling you back up now? Sit still, hold on tight and try not to lose anything…”

“Okay…” between them they managed to heave him up. Luckily, other than the shop keeper there were very few people about. It was still very early and Brixton was not the sort of place to encourage an early start, (unless you’d never been to bed in the first place.) Luke tried to help matters by pushing himself up the wall by his paws but it was quite difficult for him to manoeuvre whilst holding the bags. Then suddenly, an urgent cry; “Quick Shy… The carrier bags are giving way… Hurry up…”

Shy and Anthony tried to grab both Luke and the bags, so as to haul them all in through the window in one go, but the damage was already done and tins began dropping from a hole in one of the carriers, whilst the handles gave way on the other and half the contents spilled down onto the pavement.
“Oh crap!” sighed Luke, “Bloody bags – I should have brought something stronger with me…”

“Don’t worry…” Shy assured as he unpacked the remains, “All is not lost! What have we got here?”

“It’s mainly stuff Dan hates or that no person with taste can bear – like Badger offal or Marmite…”

“I like Marmite!” snapped Anthony as he helped unpack what remained. Tins of butter beans, frozen sprouts, tins of mussels and what may have been a clam as well as large stinky Brie. “Do you need a tin opener for some of these things? I should have a couple if it’ll help – here they are…”

“Staying are we?” muttered Shy sarcastically, under his breath and then louder. “Yes, a tin opener would be good, ta! But quickly – you were right about that door – he’ll break through it in a minute!”

“I just grabbed all I could!” chattered Luke. “I know he likes liver and black pudding and mushy peas so I didn’t get those – but now I’ve only gone and lost half of what I did get, out on to the street…”

“It’ll be ok…” Shy reassured, aware of a lack of time, “If we can mix up the food in your blender, Ant it’ll make it a little easier to spread around… That’s if he doesn’t get so big the floor gives way! I reckon that shop keeper’s about to get a bit of a shock coming through his ceiling, any minute now…”

“First batch is ready!” called out Anthony and to Shy’s amazement he’d already taken the lids of half a dozen tins and blended up a ikky looking paste, whilst Luke took the tops off a couple more. “You might find some anchovies and a tub of mouldy hummus in the fridge if you take a quick look!”

Shy grabbed the first bowl of gunk and shambled over to the lounge door with it, pulling away the bookcases and furniture that had previously blocked their path and exposing the damage to the door, already done by the creature. Rather than beating a way through, it seemed to have absorbed it, literally soaked into the wood and weakening it until it was no longer tough wood, but rather more like soggy papermache. The creature was forcing it’s way into the lounge now – despite its increasing size.

“Here Danny boy! Lunchtime!” Shy soon realized that the best way to administer the concoction was to dip Ant’s damaged reference books into the gunk, before lobbing them into the Dan beast. Not only did it give the potion the chance to pierce deep into the blob - but it also seemed to have an effect!

“AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW CLAAAAMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSS – I HATE CLAMS!!” it appeared to cry, but it may just have been their imagination and maybe the creature was simply roaring at them. “YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUK! THERE’S NOTHING WORSE THAN AN UNRIPE BRIE MIXED WITH BRUSSEL SPROUTS… AWWWWWWWWW! BURRRRRRP! BURRRRP!”

“Sounds like you’ve made it angrier, Shy!” Luke called as he hurried over with another kitchen bowl of goo. “We’re going to be running out of tins in a mote mate! Do you want me to go down for more?”

“Let’s see how this lot goes…” Shy began throwing some of the larger encyclopaedia volumes at the beast. “This thing’s either going to die or the floor’ll collapse! Just be sure you don’t let the creature touch you! I’m not sure what might happen if it does – so just avoid it… We may have to evacuate!”

“Last batch done!!!” called Ant. “Oh Hell – it’s coming through the wall here – right into the kitchen! Oh – for goodness sakes, Dan! Look at my beautiful kitchen tiles - they’re smashed to smithereens!!”

Luke hurried over with the last pot of goo, ducking as another tentacle sliced through the soggy patch in the wall. “Throw it all on - then head for the window!” Shy cried, the whole room was shuddering now and bits of ceiling were falling down all around them. “LET’S GET OUT OF HERE! OUT!!!”

Suddenly the flat split in half, breaking away like wet bread from a crust, at the point where the living room became the kitchen. Anthony leapt out and grabbed Luke by the paw and the two just about made it into the safe half of the flat before the floor disintegrated. Shy fell back, limply onto a shelf full of books and watched as the whole building seemed to vanish into the earth, creature and all…
EPILOGUE…

It was about three hours later – as the Church bells next door began to peel tunes by The Smiths and The Cure that things began to return to normal. Alan had called by looking for Dan, but everyone had hidden until he’d gone away because he’d looked like he was really chewing a wasp over him not making it home after Popstarz. There was still no sign of emergency services – but this was really no surprise in that part of town. Buildings collapsed everyday due to arsonists, lunatics or occasionally, monstrous Casseroles. Shy had sent Luke on a mission elsewhere and was taking a break to consider his next move. He was feeling restless already. He and Anthony were sat upon the rubble and books of the flat, busy tucking into the surviving tray of “Speccy Ant’s Original Sausage Casserole”, using empty bean tins as containers and spoons fashioned from the hardboard covers of Classic literature. Shy had made a small fire out of Shakespeare’s plays and they’d heated up the Casserole a treat.

“I put it somewhere safe when the whole place started shaking…” Ant explained. “It took me ages to prepare and those sausages were mail order only and the last I’d got, so I wasn’t going to lose those!”

“Quite right…” agreed Shy gratefully. “I’m absolutely starving and this is really a very VERY good Casserole, fella! You’re right – the bangers ARE marvellous! Where did you say you got them from?”

“Mail-order place in Wales, somewhere near Tenby, I think… You’re welcome to take the details…”

“Got them already, actually! I’m thinking of paying a visit!” Shy was peering into the abyss where there had once been a kitchen, a bedroom, a bathroom – infact where there had also been another 2 floors up and a shop below. “I do hope everyone got out safely…” he sighed. Anthony was looking increasingly guilty. “I hope you see now what can happen if you let Dan tamper with a good recipe – you were supposed to prepare dinner for him – not out of him!” he added and sniggered before it dawned on him that they both missed Dan. Ant was silent as Shy stared on down at the debris, “I’m a little worried about the sewers!” he continued. “Dan’ll make short work of any rats down there!” Shy looked up as he spoke and gave a wave. “It’s Luke! He looks a bit smelly from here!”

Sure enough, he was – but it was hardly any surprise seeing where he’d just emerged from, “Well that’s gone and done it!” confirmed Luke, as he scrambled back up the rubble to join them, “The Emergency Services have finally shown up! I’ve checked the sewers but it’s still too dusty down there to really see – everything seems quiet though! Do you think Dan might be dead or just injured, Shy?”

“Not sure! Having outgrown the flat and fallen through the floor to the sewers it’s certainly going to be a tad bruised, but whether we finished it off, I dunno! I wouldn’t count on it!” Shy admitted. “To be honest I think any damaged bits might rot away and die and it’ll lie dormant awhile to repair itself…”

“You’ll go and check?”

Shy grinned. “No Luke! You’ll go and check! Not that I expect you to find our old Dan down there, all back to normal and untouched but… Well, you’re in charge now! I’m going to Tenby to buy sausages and start my new life! Have some Casserole!” he handed Luke the bowl, before making his way down the rubble. “You’re a very capable young cub, you’ve proved that! Ant will help you, I’m sure!”

“But Shy, you can’t leave… I mean – you just CAN’T!!” Luke protested. “What about your pies?”

“I can and I am! You take care of my pies, Mr – I’ll be back! See you Ant! See you big chief cub!”
Anthony said nothing, but smiled. “I’ll miss you, Speccy…” he said, but too quietly for him to hear. On his way down Brixton Hill on the 159 bus, Shy could still hear Luke’s protests and he grinned all the way to Waterloo. His mind was set on the future - it was time to pass the buck and leave the problems for someone else to sort. “Poor Danbear!” he sighed. “The birthday bear missed his birthday by just one day…” Maybe he’d celebrate it down in the sewers, somewhere. “We never did find out where that Time Device came from, either…” he mused aloud. “I wonder where that got to…”

It was probably lost in the rubble somewhere? Yet another question left unanswered. For now.

**

Apologies for the late posting of this last episode! A bad cold got the better of me, I'm afraid. :(

To find out more about this story, the characters and to read some of Shy Yeti's poetry and learn more about Simon Yeti you can buy a hardcopy version of this story for £2.50 from BEECHES BOOKS. Simply email Shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk for further details.

This friday we begin a new Shy Yeti Tale - The Tales of the Tenby Sausage - tune in on Friday!