THE TALE OF THE DIAMOND STUDDED PIE - PART 4

There was much to be done next day, before the recce, at which point Shy would conceal himself until after the Pavillion closed. Ceri set about coordinating key exit points, locating safes to be broken into and role playing emergency escape scenarios, whilst Becky tested, synchronized and packed all phones, watches and tools. Shy meanwhile, went shopping for cheap clothes in Primark and then made sand castles, having had a large pile of sand delivered to the stony beach opposite Regency Square.

“At least he’s out of the way…” sighed Becky. “He can’t cause too much additional trouble, surely…” They had all asked for their breakfasts to be delivered to their rooms, to avoid seeing Ed Alexander – and Shy had been strictly forbidden to speak to the man again. “Why exactly are we getting into this - despite the fact that we know this guy is from the Police…” Becky asked Ceri to remind her.

“Not the real Police…” grinned Ceri – the excitement had rather been going to his head, after he’d been researching on his laptop all morning. “This one is particularly stupid… He was sacked after our little performance in Birmingham a while back – seems he’s set up as a Private Eye but is spending a lot of his time on our tail – with another former colleague who was also recently sacked…”

“It said all that on the Net?” exclaimed Becky incredulously.

“Pretty much… And we’re on his home turf… Guess who he’s related to – only that old Town Mayor who conned Shy’s relatives back in the early 1900s… And no – I’m not having you on…”

Becky shook her head. “So despite all the supposed winding up of Alexander that Shy did yesterday, we’re still going ahead with all this – this is the insanest insane thing I’ve heard ever, darling…”

“But as I said… This Edward Alexander bloke isn’t exactly in the good books of the Police – it might be fun to play a few more games with him. To be honest I don’t like the fact that he’s been trying to cause us all problems – you know – sniffing around about at home on the look out for our treasures… Thank goodness we transferred all the rest of the stuff from the house to the caves before we left…”

“You don’t think he’d have arranged for somebody to break in, do you?”

“No but he’ll never find it now…” just then there came a knock at the door. “Hello? Who’s that?”

“Musclebound paint-stripper as ordered, Sir – in polka dot as you specified…”

Becky grimaced. “What’s he done now – stolen one of the Mardi Gras floats as a get-a-way car and backed it into the pier and sunk it… Let yourself in Shy, the door’s unlocked…”

“I heard that!” declared Shy a tad miffed. “I want you to know that the destruction of the West Pier was all Simon’s fault – not mine! He came to switch on the Christmas lights in ’76 or was it ’77 and everyone got drunk and – well, water conducts… Did you know they had a Dr Who exhibition here by the way? They never asked for any of Simon’s old costume’s… It’s all new stuff – I’m quite upset…”

“You get more and more like him every day!” said Ceri quite honestly, but Shy took it as a compliment. “Are you ok, mate? You look tired, do you wanna take a quick nap before we head out?”

“Hmm! Nah, I think I’ll be okay!” decided Shy. “Before you ask, I’ve not seen that failed excuse for an ex-cop anywhere! So maybe he’s gone and given up or something! It’s a bit disappointing really!”

“I really doubt it!” exclaimed Becky as she finished checking the wire cutting equipment in their tool packs. “But I agree with Ceri – take a lie down before you change into your gear – remember – just a light coat over all your black gear for later – so you don’t look too odd! Nothing which lights up or plays the National Anthem at full blast! Just plain black…” she continued, not making eye contact but being very sarcastic. “You need to be ready when we leave – whereas we’ll nip back here to change before returning after dark, when you’ll be letting us in!” Shy nodded to show he remembered.

Ceri tried to be helpful but only ended making matters worse. “Maybe if you fancy a bit of colour you could follow Bex’s trick of using a bit of colour to enhance your fur… Becky's hair is dark brown, but it's dyed to enhance that and the dye has a slight rich red aspect to it, which I thought might appeal?”

Shy gave them both a cool look. “So nothing sparkly then – nothing with any style or panache?”

“No…” chipped in Becky. “No glitter, tinsel or body paint – just a spec of fur dye if you must…”

“Fur dye?!” exclaimed Shy a trifle disgustedly. “With my complexion and hair density ratios? I don’t think so! And if you’re trying to suggest that I’m going grey? I’ll have you know that this dusty silver brown is my natural colour and I intend to keep it that way! I’ll be just fine as I am, thanks!”

Ceri was trying to smooth Shy’s temper. This wasn’t the right way for the team to be relating just before a big crime. “So you kept yourself to yourself this morning – no sign of Alexander and no sign of any other Police… You’ve not worn yourself out?”

“No, honestly!” Ceri’s concern had calmed him. “Might be coming down with a bit of a cold – but I’m ok! I may have overdone things a little the other night! Maybe I will take those 40 winks, afterall!”

“You’ll probably need to get the sand out of your fur!” Ceri suggested, and Shy nodded in agreement.

“Yes… Good point…” he too had noticed the sandy trail he was leaving. “All my little sandcastle got washed away - but I did a marvelous job – all sorts of shapes – turtles – dinosaurs! One was a lifesize, giant lemon meringe pie, I had to stop myself from eating that it – it looked so real!” Ceri laughed, Becky just shook her head sadly. “I’ll go get ready… Oh, I nearly forgot… I also did a couple of other chores when I was in town – including getting these made…” He placed a large felt bag on the table and indicated that they look. “See – I’m not just a furry face after all! I’ll want them back later, mind!”

The bedroom door slammed and Ceri and Becky looked at one another. For a moment they said nothing as Ceri reached out and took the bag. Carefully he threaded back the drawstring and looked inside. “These are good – fake but well made… Here – he’s right Bex – he’s not just a furry face…”

Becky took the bag. Inside was a one large diamond encrusted pie and a number of other small pielets. Replicas of course – but like he’d just said. They were decent ones. “Good old Shy…” grinned Bex with a whistle. “I knew he could do it if he tried harder… We may even make a thief of him yet!”

*
Meanwhile elsewhere, Ed Alexander was preparing for the night ahead. He was still keeping a room on at the Regency but had needed to pop home to get his outfit for later. “It’s tonight, Kim!” he boomed triumphantly down the phone, having followed Shy around town that morning dressed as a giant Bassett hound. “He never even noticed!” Ed chortled. “I made a discovery!” he added. “I’d mistaken him for a man in a bear suit, but in fact we’re dealing with the ancient enemy – he’s a Yeti! A formidable opponent! Anyway, he was up to something earlier, I saw him heading for a jewelers! Yeti don’t wear necklaces – I know my Yeti social codes of conduct! He was up to no good!”

“Oh okay…” replied Kim distractedly – busy as she greedily devoured a luke warm Pot Noodle. “I’ll get my hair done earlier if you need me to – do you want me looking glam or secretive?”

“A bit of both perhaps – just incase the journalists want to take our photos when we pull off the greatest crime bust in history…” Ed decided. “Make sure you get to Pavillions by six, alright?”

“Oh, all right then… I’ll see ya later – I hope this costume still fits! Will we be getting a take out?”

“Yes – Chinese probably!” he assured her. “Now hurry - and make sure you bring your deadliest gun!”

“Alright then Eddie… See you later!” Edward mumbled an agreement and then put down the receiver.

“The time is near…” he muttered to himself and felt vaguely aroused from having just used the word bust in a sentence and turned back to his desk which was decorated with Wonder Woman novelty wallpaper. Linda Carter’s smiling Wonder Woman face grinning down at him. “If only I could wear an outfit as well as you, Diana Prince – you are my inspiration – you, French and Saunders and Shakespears Sister…” There were pictures all around the room of all of them. “No no…” he continued – as if listening to some bizarre conversation going on with himself. “Please don’t make me choose… All I know is that with the eternal triangle of your lucky forces I shall vanquish these criminals once and for all – Diana, Dawn, Siobhan, Jennifer and Marcella you are my strength above all…”

Somewhere downstairs Mother was calling. “Don’t shout so loud Edward – you woke the budgies!”
He had been shouting, he now realised. “I’m sorry Mother…” he bellowed back, even louder. “But I happen to be solving a crime up here and I’m seeking strength from Diana Prince…”

“You were sacked Edward – don’t be so silly – I know what you do up there! I’ve seen your posters!”

Ed slammed his bedroom door, with his hand firmly placed over his ears. “You couldn’t be further from the truth, lady!” he said to himself. “You’re nothing more than a dirty birdy! At least I’m capable of decent detective powers – unlike you… Unlike you…” Ed stared and gaped in awe at the figure that stood before him in the mirror. “You look fantastic tonight, quite fantastic!” he told himself.

Edward cut a rather strange looking fellow in the reflection, to be honest. He was very tall and a very vain man, somewhere between 6ft 3 and 4 in his early 30s. His hair was dark brown and retained the page boy cut of his teenage years but he’d recently started to dye it because his side burns were rapidly going grey and he was in constant fear that his hair would thin. He’d had his moments of being quite popular in bars, but refused to be seen out wearing glasses. Contact lens were too much trouble and he only forgot to take them out. This tended to mean that he’d spent about twenty minutes chatting up pillars or elderly cleaners went he went out clubbing, having mistaken them for someone more his age and sexual preference. The irony was that for many years he had worked in both forensics and surveillance – a lot of that work he had also done sans specs – determined that he’d look his best and bluffing his way through his work. “My short sightedness was not a factor in my failure to apprehend the Library criminals…” he had maintained, although this was of course the principal reason that he had failed. “Well – I won’t fail again…” he muttered to himself. He had his costume at the ready and revenge was in his heart. “This is the last time any of you make a fool out of me!” he declared.

Maybe. Maybe… Afterall, stranger things have often occurred around events involving Yeti…

*
Shy Yeti bit into an apple and nearly choked – the recce had gone pretty well until now…

Arriving just before Four, they’d spent the last fifty minutes exploring the former Palace of George IV. Through the Kings Apartments to The Music Room and their adjoining quarters, down the Long Gallery and through the Saloon and Banqueting Hall into The Great Kitchen where they now stood. “The Kitchen was one of the first areas to be completed as part of John Nash’s reconstruction between 1815 and 1822…” Becky read as Ceri walked ahead taking in the sheer size of the room. “A high lantern ceiling, fitted with twelve sash windows gave the spacious interior a light and airy feel…” She smiled. “I wonder if John Nash would have approved of Changing Rooms?”

Ceri was distracted. Shy seemed totally oblivious and more interested in the fake food on the table, whilst Becky was getting caught up in the history of the building. All very well – but there was a job to be done. The Pies that Shy were after were kept in the Queen Victoria Apartments upstairs, whilst what he and Becky were after was on the ground floor. But all in all he was beginning to feel that they were going to have to rush things before the Pavillions closed at 5.15. “We’ve got to find Shy a hiding place, Becky, sure – it’s nice in here, but it’s possibly the least useful room for us to spend time in…”
Before Becky had a chance to reply there came an “OUCH!” and a bit of a coughing fit from Shy and the two of them spun around. Luckily they were they were pretty much on their own except for a couple of tourists who were examining a stuffed swan which was arranged along with the other fake food on the kitchen tables. “What’s the problem Yeti? You sound like you’re about to choke…”

“This is a real apple! Who put that here on display?” Shy fumed as he spat out the bits rather messily over a dummy dressed in period costume. “Who put a real apple in the bowl of plastic fruit…”

“But it’s not for eating!” exclaimed Becky. “Oh my God, he’s quite literally gobbled the whole bowl!”
“I didn’t eat the bowl…” Shy insisted and brought it out from under his fur. “I was just stealing that!
So what if it’s fake fruit… The wax banana’s were rather fine…” Shy sulked. “…and the plastic pears were perfection! But the real one – ikkk – someone’s having a laugh! Disgusting behaviour!!!” he was regarding the two tourists suspiciously. “They’ve got their eye on that stuffed swan – I was going to nick that for my tea whilst I’m in hiding… I THINK YOU’LL FIND THAT’S MINE!!” he said and raised his voice, causing the couple to skiddaddle and leaving them alone in the kitchen.

“NO! NO! NO!” Ceri had Shy by the scruff of the fur. “You’re going to stand out like a sore thumb if you start stealing things in front of the surveillance cameras…” he indicated the one on the wall. “Act naturally, Yeti… I know we’re going to destroy all today’s tapes so we’re don’t even appear on any footage – but still – if someone spots you eating plastic fruit…” he paused – his hand had come up against something odd. “What’s that I’m touching, Yeti… What are you hiding in your fur…”

“Plastic chickens from the table over there – I just wanna little snack, Ceri –don’t begrudge me that – I’m going to have to wait a good couple of hours before I disable the alarm…” Shy was feeling quite tired by now and was tempted to take a quick snooze once he got into hiding, though Becky had told him quite firmly that he mustn’t sleep or he’d give himself away with his snoring. “Okay… I won’t steal anything else… I’ll just memorize everything you told me about the alarms…”

“Please don’t forget Shy… It’s really important that you turn them off whilst the security guards are patrolling…” explained Becky for about the fifth time that day. “Look you two – shall we get on?”

Ceri nodded and with that they continued – back round through the Banquet Hall and galleries towards the staircase that allowed access to the upstairs apartments, where Queen Victoria last had rooms back in the mid 1840s. Having passed along the corridor which the guidebook described as the Adelaide Corridor, they entered the North Gallery and then crossed into the area signed up as the Yellow Bow Rooms. They’d not been up there many minutes when suddenly a voice came through on a hallway speaker which gave them news they hadn’t expected to come quite so soon. “PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE EXIT – THE PAVILLION WILL BE CLOSING IN FIVE MINUTES!”

Becky turned. “Where’s Shy?” All the other visitors were filing towards the stairs, but sure enough there was no obvious sign of him until Ceri spotted him on the bed, trying to get under the satin sheets.

“These sheets are all stitched together – you can’t get underneath them… Looks like I’m going to have to lie down here and pretend to be a rug after all…” Shy called over at them. “You two get out of here and I’ll see you later!” Shy was off of the bed and sure enough was now trying to arrange himself casually by the hearth before closing his eyes. “Go on guys hurry! Everything’s yaytastic here - I’ll be okay and I promise not to snore! I’ll get somewhere better as soon as everyone’s gone! Alright?”

“Shy…” Ceri tried to shake him awake again. “You’ve got to find yourself somewhere better now…” but Becky had given him a sharp dig in the ribs as the guide from the next door room came striding through looking official. “Oh… Err… I’m sure mother has a rug like that…” he adlibbed foolishly.

“Don’t touch the exhibits, Sir!” snapped the guide. “I’m afraid we’re closing now… Please leave!”

“Just going!” exclaimed Becky, giving one last look back at Shy – she was certain he gave her a wink – as they hurried towards the exit. “Just take care…” she thought very hard, just incase Shy was trying to read her mind. “Take care and don’t take any stupid chances…”

*
Almost two hours had passed, when Shy suddenly opened his eyes and sat up with a snort. He was in exactly the same place as he’d curled once the Pavilion had closed and sure enough he had done exactly what he’d said he never would. He’d been asleep. “Well, at least I didn’t snore…” he muttered guiltily. “Or at least if I did no-one heard…” he smirked for a second, imagining the guides crowding round him – alarmed that their prize rug was suddenly gurgling and drooling and dreaming of pies. However this didn’t seem to have happened at all. “I don’t recall dreaming of anything…” he muttered and stood up. His legs felt very weak and he tottered around and nearly collapsed on the bed. “Hmm!” he sighed. “Don’t feel well at all – too many wax chickens and now I’m bloated… Stupid Yeti…”

Still, he didn’t feel so bad that he couldn’t continue and collecting his equipment from under the bed he made his way across the room and down a short flight of steps into another exhibition area. As Ceri had assured him, most of the doors were left open, due to the sheer amount of time it would take everyday if every door in the Pavillion had to be closed and locked at the end of the working day…

“It’s the exhibitions themselves that are alarmed – the exhibitions and the windows to prevent break-ins… There are two security guards in the building and they patrol the rooms once an hour – one in a clockwise rotation – one anti clockwise. Another reason all the internal doors are left open…”

Sure enough Ceri was correct. Shy checked his watch and saw that the first shift was probably soon about to start. It was now he needed to make his way to the Security room and deactivate the alarms – also to make sure that any security videos were obtained. All that and then he’d be able to let Ceri and Becky into the building. “All’s well…” thought Shy telepathically. “Am progressing as planned…” Suddenly his head was filled with pain and he tottered on his paws at the top of the main staircase. “Crikey… What was that…” he gasped – before realising exactly what was going on. It was his powers – they were low, in fact they were almost non-existent – and the pain in his head was the pain of telepathic messages bouncing back undelivered. “Flip! I knew it! Damn! I knew something was wrong – why didn’t I say something? It’s all your own fault too – stupid Yeti showoff!”All that mucking about in Castleton had drained his powers and he’d been so busy since arriving in Brighton that there had been no time to replenish them. “Well, crack on and just get on with things – there’s nothing for it now – power or no power – you’re in this mess and you’ve got to get yourself out of it!”

“Who is that?” Shy realised right at that moment that he’d spoken the last few words aloud. Suddenly there was the flash of torch light up the staircase and a figure started up the stairs. “Who is it?”

Shy stepped back, but was surprised to see not just one guard but two. “If there’s only two guards on duty then they’ll patrol alone – but there’s a possibility they’ll be more guards tonight, if Ed Alexander plans to stick a few tricks up his sleeve…” Ceri had warned him. “They might even leave someone on guard in the Security office full time – so you must be extra careful and you might have to use some of that Yeti magic to put a few of them asleep so we can get in and out unseen…”

Of course that wasn’t going to be possible now. Shy backed off into the shadows of the North Gallery as another halo of torchlight almost found him – not just from the stairs but also from along the Adelaide Corridor. There were either a whole fleet of guards in tonight or Shy had rather unfortunately emerged exactly at the point where the two units crossed. He could already see the first pair on the stairs – one of them was Ed Alexander in a Security Guard uniform a few of sizes too small. “Don’t see me… Please don’t see me!” willed Shy, although he knew he had no strength left. “Don’t see me! DON’T SEE ME… PLEASE DON’T SEE ME…” The guards – led by Ed Alexander moved closer!

FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IN PART 5 - POSTED UP NEXT FRIDAY!!!