THE TALE OF THE DIAMOND STUDDED PIE - PART 5

Ceri looked at his watch and then down at his Palm-pilot which had up on the screen a small plan of the electricity and alarm systems in the Pavilion. “What’s keeping him – the alarms are still on - it’s after seven – he was supposed to let us in by now…” he grumbled – looking very uncomfortable, as he and Becky lurked outside in the Pavilion Gardens. “Come on Shy – get your act together…”

“Yeah, well don’t hope for too many miracles, honey…” replied Becky, somewhat unhelpfully. “After all, remind me who it was who thought it was such a good idea to have the Yeti let us in, in the first place… Why not me… Why not you… Why not someone who’d done it before – it made no sense…”

Ceri blushed. “Are you saying he did one of his stares at me… Dammit! He did, didn’t he…”

Becky gave him a gentle hug. “Don’t worry hon. Not only you to you – he got through me too! Well, let’s just sit back and wait and see what happens… This is his show – let’s see how he deals with it…”

Ceri wasn’t so sure he could remain so distant. “We have to help him… If something goes wrong…”

“You’re optimistic!” Becky sighed. “Look, we’ll do what we can – but he’s deliberately over-ruled us here! If he’s careful and if we’re clever we’ll pull this off! But if he does something REALLY, I mean REALLY, REALLY stupid then I dunno! I’m not sure if we can help him if he gets himself arrested!”

“No, don’t even think it, Becks… Let’s leave some hope aside that he’s going to be okay…”

“Well, we’re not turning ourselves in… Not because of this… It’s bad enough that some stupid ex-copper’s after us – let alone throwing it all away for that fool of a Yeti… I’m sorry – but NO!”

“Of course not!” Ceri paused crossly – something was happening on the Palm-Pilot screen. “Hey! Do you see that – the power on all the internal alarms has dropped right back – it’s gone to neutral - he’s done it! We should just be able to trip the lock and get right into the Music Room and out again before anyone’s even noticed… Leaving the door for his furriness to follow us out once he’s finished…”

“Wonders will never cease…” smiled Becky and nodded – indicating where they needed to go next.

Watching them from one of the windows was Kim Travers. “Make sure they get in, Kim… Most probably one of them will smuggle their way in during the day… Whichever one it is - we’ll get them!” Edward Alexander had ordered her. “However, they’ll be expecting their companion to let them in, most probably and if we want to catch the lot of them we’ve got to make them think the plan is working and nab them at the very last minute – red handed… So make sure you switch off the alarms – to make them think things are all going well… Do you understand!” Kim Travers was no fool…

“Oh well…” Kim sighed as she watched Ceri and Becky breaking into the Music Room on the floor below her. “They’re in now, alright… You’ve getting everything you deserved… All of you…”

Meanwhile, downstairs, the couple were already overly curious about how easy things seemed to be coming together. “Shall we start removing things? Shall I try and find the safe?” Ceri whispered to Bex. “I know we had specific things in mind – but I’m beginning to feel a bit edgy about this already!”

“You and me both, hon…” Becky agreed. “Listen – pretty much all the stuff here belonged to that crook Fulton – I’ve read all up on him… Nasty piece of work… If he wasn’t stealing it from Yetis, he was blackmailing closeted gay couples who were trying to settle down here or swindling business men… Most of this stuff is stolen or replica one way or another… Just grab what you can get…”

“What about you? Where are you going?”

“Just to check on the Yeti! Hurry up, just get a bag or two and then go for the car – I won’t be a mo!”

“But Becky!!” There was no use shouting though, she was already gone and there was no stopping a Becky with a mission in mind. “Take care, won’t you…” he muttered – as much to himself as to Bex.
Ceri reached out gently – resting his hand upon a carriage clock that had once belonged (he’d checked) to Miss Isle of Wight 1902. No alarms… With a reassured deep breath of relief he placed the clock at the bottom of his rucksack, wrapping it hastily in bubble wrap for safety. “Good old Shy…” he smiled and then began to search around the room for more previously stolen goodies…

*
Meanwhile upstairs, Shy still had his eyes closed – wishing not to be caught – but with no time to slip away into one of the Gallery rooms for safety. “DON’T SEE ME… PLEASE DON’T SEE ME – I’M INVISIBLE!!!” He could tell, by now – that Edward Alexander and the second guard had reached the top of the stairs and were presumably very close and yet they had still not seen him…

“One of them will be around here somewhere…” Ed Alexander was saying to his second in command. “Go and catch up with the second Unit – they’ll be making cups of cocoa in the Adelaide tea room if I’m not very much mistaken… I did try to explain to you all that this isn’t just another night on patrol – tonight’s the night this place is going to get broken into – that’s pretty much a certainty…”

“Yeah – whatever you say - but you didn’t want to call in the Police, did you? If it hadn’t been for your mate being our boss you’d never had gotten in here in the first place…” Shy smiled, this was good to know. “See – we don’t get paid any overtime for all this extra patrolling you’re making us do and now it’s time for my next tea break… You and the wife come and join us, if you like, mate!”

“Hunt! Don’t walk away from me like that – I haven’t finished with you…”

“Don’t shout!” cried Hunt, almost brushing against Shy on his way to the tea room. “Don’t shout – you’ll scare the burglars! Bloody ex-coppers, think they still run the place – you won’t get a badge this time mate!” Shy heard Hunt mutter as he headed down the corridor in search of refreshment.

Ed Alexander wasn’t happy – it didn’t take Shy’s telepathy to tell that, he could feel the rage radiating off of the man. “You bunch of idiots…” he spat. “I’ll see you’re all fired for this…” But Shy could sense he knew he didn’t have the power to do that – even if he did know the Head of the Security team (another ex-cop) and had managed to blag his way into patrolling the Pavilion that night.

“He’s trying to arrange it all himself…” mused Shy as Ed begun to flash his torch around the North Gallery, before deciding which room to try next. “Trying to steal all the glory – that’s his biggest mistake yet…” But suddenly Shy realised that the torch was flashing at him – lingering on him too and what’s more he’d almost forgotten the danger he was in. Ed was coming his way and what’s more Shy had a peculiar and unstoppable need to sneeze… “Now you’re done for… PLEASE DON’T SEE ME…” he willed – but deep down he knew there was no power left in his Yeti body. His time was up.

Downstairs, not so very far away, in the Hall below, Becky had reached the Security Offices, careful not to bump into any Security Guards on Patrol. There were definitely more around than normal, but that was partly to be expected! Outside the door to the office stood a woman who Becky vaguely recognised, but not sign of Shy Yeti at all. Whatsmore – from what she could see – the video monitors were still functioning which was definitely bad news indeed. “This isn’t right… What exactly’s going on here…” she wondered to herself, concerned that someone would see either Ceri or herself on the camera. “They’ve invited us into the parlour and we’ve come running… So where’s the Spider? And where, for that matter – is the Yeti?”

Suddenly, the woman’s walkie talkie crackled into life. “No sign as yet, Kim…” said a voice that was drowned out by static. “Give them another few minutes then turn the alarms back on… They’ll set them off as they leave and we can round them all up and present them with a flourish to the local Constabulary…” It was Edward Alexander, she was sure of it – lost somewhere in the building in search of Shy. And the woman… Kim… One of his colleagues – a helper – a spy…
“From the Service Station, of course…” recalled Becky. “Shit – I knew that Yeti would never have the chance to cut the wires…” she turned back into the shadows whilst Kim had her back turned and almost ran full pelt back to the Music Room and Gallery to warn Ceri of exactly what was going on.

Back upstairs, Shy still had his paws crossed. “DON’T SEE ME…”he wished and almost said it aloud.

“I can’t see a bloody thing in here…” said Ed Alexander and for a moment Shy froze and thought he was actually addressing him. “Where are they? They’ll not get away – even if they do get away they’ll not get away with it…” Shy gave a metaphorical breath of relief – too risky to give an actual one. It was obvious to him now that Ed couldn’t see him at all and yet he wasn’t making a lot of sense – perhaps he was ill as well as short sighted. “What an ugly gnu…” muttered Ed, giving Shy a quick glance. “Why do hunters think it’s so clever to stick their trophies on the wall like that…” he tapped Shy on the head. “This one’s got a solid skull and smells awful… It shouldn’t be allowed – chuck it in the litter I say – I’m sure that wasn’t one of my Grandfathers… Maybe I will stop for a cup of coffee after all…” he finished and with that also disappeared in the direction of the Adelaide tea room.

“A GNU!!” exclaimed Shy once he was sure he was on his own. “A Gnu of all things – I AM NOT A GNU! He needs his head read – let alone anything else… Good grief!” He was still in a state of panic and was busy trundling off toward the Queen Victoria suite when he remembered that not only had he left his walkie talkie in the Yellow Bow room, but that he wasn’t sure whether he was still supposed to be turning off the alarm and letting Becky and Ceri in. “Too late for all that… They’ve probably buggered off – I’ll just check my watch…” Bex had given him a new watch especially for the evening – one which would indicate whether an area was still alarmed. “Nope…” Shy noted having scanned the room ahead. “All the alarms are off so they’ve either found there own way in or everything’s broken…” he wondered again for a second whether the cameras were still on – once again that had been his job – but he already had his eyes on something centrepiece in the display cabinet in the room before him. “Who cares if they see me – what’ll they make of seeing a great big yeti on their monitor screens – I can always say it was Simon Yeti and not me – how would they tell the difference…” he giggled. “Anyway – these pies belong to my family – their rightfully mine and I’d box the ears of anyone who said otherwise… Bastards…” There before him were the Diamond Studded Pies and all the little pielets… “Come to daddy…” grinned Shy and crossed the room towards them.

Downstairs, Ceri had nearly finished all that he wanted to take from the Gallery room just as Becky came hurrying back in. “We’ve got to leave now… It wasn’t Shy who turned off the alarms – it was them – they’ve let us walk straight inside…”

Ceri nearly dropped the bag he was carrying. “So why haven’t they just rounded us up already? Where’s Shy? What about the cameras?”

“Still running I expect – I’m going to see to it and to see to Shy if I can find him… They’ve probably not picked us up yet because that idiot of an ex-copper is organising this with that girlfriend of his – she was at the service station watching us the other day – goth girl – she’s here now, helping Ed Alexander… Take anything you’ve got and just go – I’ve got to make sure that the surveillance cameras are seen too – make sure the tapes are destroyed…”

“But I’m not leaving you…” Ceri persisted. “Let’s fight ‘em to the death together…”

“Nice irony, but listen, honey! Take the bag and go! I won’t be long and I promise I won’t be long…”

“You won’t seduce any security guards in exchange for letting you go if they do catch you?”

Becky shook her head. “No – I’ll leave that to you – cheers for the vote of confidence – now get out!”

Ceri nodded. Collected his equipment he hurried towards the door – careful to check that no-one was waiting for him outside. Relieved he was safe, Becky hurried back to the Security Office, but on her arrival and to her amazement she found the room totally empty. She could hear movement upstairs – but there was no sign of Kim the Goth, Ed Alexander or anyone else for that matter. “Ok!” she sighed. “This has got to be a trap… But traps are you’re speciality!” A while back she’d escaped being eaten by a trip-wired Venus flytrap by hanging from the ceiling by her iPod earphones. She’d only gotten away by smashing the green house window and decapitating the poor plant with the shattered glass.
Creeping cautiously into the room she was relieved that nothing untoward occurred – at least not immediately. Making sure that her gloves were tightly on and that there was no chance of leaving any finger prints she set to work on the surveillance material first. Making sure that all tapes for the day were, not only wiped but that the machine was short circuited and all tapes unspooled. Within 30 seconds it was done and the tape destroyed within the bins with some hastily applied acid that she always kept on her person for emergencies. Useful for occasions such as these or sometimes for more brutal punishment when adversaries required their clothes dissolving! (Never their faces, mind-that just wasn’t playing the game) The cameras themselves continued to work (but not for very much longer) but Becky took the opportunity to check out a few of the cameras. First she noted that Ceri was well on his way to escaping to safety and the location where their car was stashed. Next she located the tea rooms, where most of the guards, including the Kim and Edward Alexander were taking a break (Eddie was restless though! She wouldn’t be left alone for very much longer, she suspected! Best to hurry!) Finally, having scanned some of the empty upstairs rooms she found Shy – busy in the Queen Victoria Apartment about to steal the Diamond Studded Pie…

Something wasn’t right… The alarms were still switched off – all the guards were taking tea…

“Shy…” she raised her minature walkie talkie to her ear – it was only meant to be used in emergencies – but this seemed like exactly the right time. “Shy… Wait… Don’t take the pies yet… There’s something wrong here…” On the screen Shy didn’t seem to hear her. “Shy?” It was then she realised that he no longer had his walkie talkie. Was there a tannoy? Should she risk using it even if there was? Could she get up the stairs in time to warn him? But warn him of what? She wasn’t even sure what the problem was – but something was setting the alarm bells ringing… THE ALARM BELLS!?!

Quickly Becky took out her palm pilot… The answer was there, clear before her. Although all the dials here stated the alarms were switched off – the Palm said different – the Palm said…

Upstairs in the Queen Victoria Rooms, Shy reached out and took the Diamond Pies and Pielets…

Suddenly, all around the building the alarms were ringing… Shutters were closing… It was too late – too late for Becky to do anything! Up on the screens she could see that the tea room was suddenly quite empty – china cups scattered – there were already feet hurrying down the stairs… There was no time to hide – only to run! Within seconds the Police would be arriving… She had to get out to be with Ceri and hope that somehow Shy would find his way too! Becky picked herself up and ran – back the way she’d come – hoping there was still a way out the way she’d come in… There were footsteps close behind her – but they were hurrying to the Security Office first – not yet after her – she was too quick for them. “Please let me get out of here…” she prayed to herself – as much as she was worried for herself she still felt guilty about leaving Shy. “Please don’t let there be shutters over the windows!”

As it happened there were shutters over most of the windows, but Ceri had already thought of that. He wasn’t known as fingers for nothing. Before leaving he’d unscrewed the hinges of the doors that they’d broken in through and left the remains of the door standing sideways – sticking into the Gallery room and halfout side. The shutters had come down and hit the wood – and were still trying to lift and drop – unsuccessfully. The door lying sideways provided Becky with an easy space to slip through – down underneath and out into the night.

“Search all the rooms…” Edward Alexander was screaming. “Travers – you take downstairs – I’ll do another sweep of upstairs… They can’t all have gotten out… The Pielets are gone…”

“There’s stuff missing down here…” Kim reported. “One of the shutters is damaged – someone’s escaped, but hopefully the Police will catch them! Oh – and the security room’s been totally trashed!”

Eddie swore – he’d hoped the Police wouldn’t get involved until he was already successfully wrapping things up… It was almost like the “good old days” – only not quite as crap and with less failure… But if the Police realised he’d known that something was going to happen and had deliberately not informed them then he could almost be an accessory to the fact. As usual things hadn’t quite gone to plan – but it wasn’t quite as bad as it looked – even though, for now it would appear some of the valuables had left the building. “Don’t worry about the security room… There are backup tapes and further cameras not linked to that room… They’ve not gotten away with this as easily as they think… Come on – at least one of them has still got to be in here somewhere – there’s no way they all got out – it’s less than three minutes since the pies were stolen and the alarm was triggered… One of them’s going to be hiding here really close…”

In many ways, Ed Alexander was right. Shy was very close. Eddie was standing right by the window in the Victorian apartment and Shy was just the other side of the glass. If it wasn’t for the shutter that had come slamming down, nearly trapping his fur then Shy would have been seen immediately. As it was he was standing on the edge of a window sill – hanging over a drop – trying to inch his way along the wall in an effort to reach the balcony that adjoined the tea rooms – with all the pies and pielets crammed into his mouth, his ears and a couple under his arm pits. He’d never had a chance to replace them with the forgeries and in fact they were all now muddled up and would take goodness knows how long to separate into false and genuine artifacts. But that was the least of his problems right now!

“Not much further…” Shy reminded himself. “Only a few more steps and you’ll be on the balcony…” Either that or he’d fall – probably ending up – and ending his furry life on a rather lethal and sharp looking range of bamboo stalks. Either that or be arrested by the Police… “Maybe I’ll fancy one of them and not mind being arrested…” he thought, hopefully. “…Or maybe my powers will pop back and I can talk my way out of things… Maybe if I manage not to choke on one of these pielets…”

Not so very far away at all. Becky had finally caught up with Ceri in the undergrowth surrounding the Pavilion. There were Police on their way, but they were making very strange noises – at least there cars were. “What on earth is that noise? What’s wrong with the Police cars – they sound drunk?”

She didn’t expect Ceri to have the answer – but actually he did. Infact he was grinning. “Good old Shy - that’s his work… I forgot all about it… When he was out on the town earlier apparently he turned up at the Police Station, donning one of his lunatic disguises – the one with the tassels or something and said he was doing Bob-a-job or charity sponsorship or SOMETHING and could he wash the Police cars… Believe it or not they said yes and he put sugar in their engines whilst he was at it!”

Becky shook her head. “I really underestimated that Yeti…” she admitted. “What the hell are we going to do now… We can’t go back in there – but I’m not at all sure we haven’t left some other trace of our visit… I destroyed the tapes – but it was just too easy… They must have had other cameras up!”

“Were you wearing your mask?” asked Ceri as they watched a couple of the Police cars bump into each other with a screech. Becky nodded. “So was I most of the time – all they’ll see is Shy and I don’t suppose they’ll quite know what to make of him… Sure, Brighton used to have a big Yeti population but you won’t find that written about much in the City history books… We’ve got to get him out though – let me think for a minute…”

But Becky was looking alarmed. “What’s that noise?” she said coldly – but it was as if she already knew. “It’s coming from your bag… Did you steal a clock?” she was pulling open the sacking. “I know that sound… Shit! Shit! Shit! All these things have been boobie trapped…” she was shaking the bags open across the grass. “Oh God Ceri… The bastard’s gone and put explosives over everything…”

Back at the Pavilion, over looking the gardens, Shy had made it to the balcony and was even about to try and climb down the wall by swinging athletically down a series of descending hanging baskets. But it was then he heard the voices of his friends. Fumbling around in his fur he drew out his trusty binoculars and focused on the far gardens. Not the side where the Police seemed to be having trouble getting their cars in – there was total chaos in that corner – but over the other side in the shadows. Flicking the infra-red switch Shy could clearly see Ceri and Becky – and they seemed to be panicking about something. He was about to try and communicate with them telepathically when…

THE WHOLE OF THAT PART OF THE GARDEN EXPLODED IN A FIREBALL…

“Guys…” croaked Shy inwardly – nearly choking on the pies. “Guys no…”
“Oh dear.” Said a voice behind him. “Things do appear to have gone with a bang…” It was Edward Alexander and he was standing alone on the balcony behind him. “Don’t speak…” he said. “I can see you have your mouth full… But not for much longer!” Shy still had some of the pielets in his mouth – there was a ticking noise in his head. “It’ll all be over soon Mr. Yeti… You’re about to get your head blown off… Sweet dreams!”

The ticking was getting louder, but Shy couldn’t even scream properly...

Find out what happens in the last episode of this exciting adventure and also the last episode to be posted before the new year...

It's all go down in Brighton next friday - 17th December 2005...

DON'T MISS IT!!!